Domestic Violence - Information for Individuals

Information for Individuals

On this page, you will find information and advice for individuals in difficult or abusive relationships. Remember not all domestic abuse involves physical violence - sometimes abuse may be emotional, psychological, sexual or financial. If this is true in your case, there are still services that can help you.

To download
'Be Safe' Leaflet,
click here

To download
'Home, Safe, Home' Leaflet, click here

I DON'T FEEL SAFE AT HOME - WHAT CAN I DO ?

There are many organisations willing and able to support women and their children who are living in unequal or abusive situations. Help is available to you whether or not you wish to leave your partner.

First, you need to recognise what is happening to you, and remember not all domestic abuse involves physical violence. Realise that you are not to blame - there is no excuse for your partner to assault, abuse or humiliate you. The next step is to begin seeking the advice, information, help and support that is available to you. You may decide to make yourself a Crisis Plan.

Did you know...

Domestic violence isn't just physical; abuse may also be emotional, psychological, sexual and/or financial abuse

There are many organisations that can help you quickly in a crisis or emergency. Here are some:

POLICE
Parkside Family Unit
01223 823559
IN EMERGENCY
DIAL "999"

The Police can protect you from further danger, ensure that you and your children are not at risk from further abuse, take firm & positive action against your attacker.

WOMEN'S AID
24 Hour Local Helpline
01223 460947
National Helpline
08457 023468
(includes language line)

Women's Aid provides advice, practical and emotional support, & safe and secure accommodation in a refuge

THE SAMARITANS
24 hour confidential helpline - 01223 364455 or 0345 909090

Offer emotional support 24 hours a day, by phone, face-to-face, or by letter.

I DON'T FEEL SAFE WITH MY SAME SEX PARTNER - WHAT CAN I DO?

Click here to visit the website of the Pan-London Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Domestic Violence Forum offering information and support.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP... I'M NOT SURE IF IT IS OK?

You may be in a domestic abusive relationship if:
* You feel frightened by, or responsible for, your partner's temper or behaviour.
* You make decisions according to what your partner wants or how you think they will react.
* Your partner calls you names, or tries to degrade or humiliate you privately or publicly.
* Your partner has prevented you from getting or keeping a job
* Your partner restricts your access to money, possessions or mutual resources, such as the family car.
* You have been forced to have sex without your consent.
* Your partner has caused you pain or injury, or threatens to do so.

What is a healthy relationship? 'Where do you draw the line?'
Respect, fairness, honesty and behaviour are just some of the key words to think of here. The 'Home, Safe, Home' leaflet produced by the Women & Crime Group may help you think about this.

CRISIS PLAN

This may help you have more control:
· If you have an injunction, keep a copy for yourself and send a copy to the Police Station.
· If possible, put money away to pay bus, train or taxi fares.
· Keep a set of clothes for you and your children packed in a bag that is easily reached and not too heavy, also keys and money.
· Always carry a list of telephone numbers to call in an emergency and a spare set of house/car keys.
· Know where there is a telephone you can use quickly and easily, or if you have a mobile phone keep it with you.
· Children will probably be aware of what has been going on - talk to them about the problems.

If you do leave try to do the following if possible:
The children should go with you, make sure you take Benefit Books, Medical cards, your childs health record, legal documents and phone card.

Leave when the abuser is not around. Take any personal possessions and anything of sentimental value, clothes for several days, a few of the children's favourite toys and also any medication which is needed.

OFFERING SUPPORT TO A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER

If you know that a friend or family member is experiencing domestic violence, you are likely to be worried and perhaps scared. Sometimes, you may be frustrated because your friend or family member is not 'simply' leaving a violent partner. In fact, it can take a lot of time for some people to decide to leave violent or abusive partners - they may have reasons why they feel they cannot easily leave. You cannot make the decision for them. What you can do is:
offer support and friendship
make sure they know about services and organisations that can help
get information, such as leaflets, for them to read if they wish
help them make a Crisis plan

How do I stop someone seeing which websites I've visited? click here



Information for Individuals On this page, you will find information and advice for individuals in difficult or abusive relationships. Remember not all domestic abuse involves physical violence - sometimes abuse may be emotional, psychological, sexual or financial. If this is true in your case, there are still services that can help you.

To download 'Be Safe' Leaflet, click here To download 'Home, Safe, Home' Leaflet, click here	I DON'T FEEL SAFE AT HOME - WHAT CAN I DO ? There are many organisations willing and able to support women and their children who are living in unequal or abusive situations. Help is available to you whether or not you wish to leave your partner. First, you need to recognise what is happening to you, and remember not all domestic abuse involves physical violence. Realise that you are not to blame - there is no excuse for your partner to assault, abuse or humiliate you. The next step is to begin seeking the advice, information, help and support that is available to you. You may decide to make yourself a Crisis Plan.	Did you know... Domestic violence isn't just physical; abuse may also be emotional, psychological, sexual and/or financial abuse There are many organisations that can help you quickly in a crisis or emergency. Here are some: POLICE Parkside Family Unit 01223 823559 IN EMERGENCY DIAL "999" The Police can protect you from further danger, ensure that you and your children are not at risk from further abuse, take firm & positive action against your attacker. WOMEN'S AID 24 Hour Local Helpline 01223 460947 National Helpline 08457 023468 (includes language line) Women's Aid provides advice, practical and emotional support, & safe and secure accommodation in a refuge THE SAMARITANS 24 hour confidential helpline - 01223 364455 or 0345 909090 Offer emotional support 24 hours a day, by phone, face-to-face, or by letter.
	I DON'T FEEL SAFE WITH MY SAME SEX PARTNER - WHAT CAN I DO? Click here to visit the website of the Pan-London Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Domestic Violence Forum offering information and support.
	I'M WORRIED ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP... I'M NOT SURE IF IT IS OK? You may be in a domestic abusive relationship if: * You feel frightened by, or responsible for, your partner's temper or behaviour. * You make decisions according to what your partner wants or how you think they will react. * Your partner calls you names, or tries to degrade or humiliate you privately or publicly. * Your partner has prevented you from getting or keeping a job * Your partner restricts your access to money, possessions or mutual resources, such as the family car. * You have been forced to have sex without your consent. * Your partner has caused you pain or injury, or threatens to do so. What is a healthy relationship? 'Where do you draw the line?' Respect, fairness, honesty and behaviour are just some of the key words to think of here. The 'Home, Safe, Home' leaflet produced by the Women & Crime Group may help you think about this.
	CRISIS PLAN This may help you have more control: · If you have an injunction, keep a copy for yourself and send a copy to the Police Station. · If possible, put money away to pay bus, train or taxi fares. · Keep a set of clothes for you and your children packed in a bag that is easily reached and not too heavy, also keys and money. · Always carry a list of telephone numbers to call in an emergency and a spare set of house/car keys. · Know where there is a telephone you can use quickly and easily, or if you have a mobile phone keep it with you. · Children will probably be aware of what has been going on - talk to them about the problems. If you do leave try to do the following if possible: The children should go with you, make sure you take Benefit Books, Medical cards, your childs health record, legal documents and phone card. Leave when the abuser is not around. Take any personal possessions and anything of sentimental value, clothes for several days, a few of the children's favourite toys and also any medication which is needed.
	OFFERING SUPPORT TO A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER If you know that a friend or family member is experiencing domestic violence, you are likely to be worried and perhaps scared. Sometimes, you may be frustrated because your friend or family member is not 'simply' leaving a violent partner. In fact, it can take a lot of time for some people to decide to leave violent or abusive partners - they may have reasons why they feel they cannot easily leave. You cannot make the decision for them. What you can do is: offer support and friendship make sure they know about services and organisations that can help get information, such as leaflets, for them to read if they wish help them make a Crisis plan